\u201cThe one word I would use to describe myself is brave.\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n My struggles with mental health began at a young age, when I found myself embraced in the arms of crippling illnesses that I truly thought were on my side\u2014my \u201cfriends,\u201d as I used to think of them. Only later did I realise that my eating disorder, my depression, and my anxiety were nothing more than ravaging beasts intent on tearing my life and relationships away from me.<\/p>\n As I spiraled further into my struggles, I remember how time dilated, and everything felt sluggish. Every movement; every word; every gesture I made; was obscured by a cloak of deception that I\u2019m \u201cfine, really,\u201d and \u201cI don\u2019t need help.\u201d I believed, so firmly, that with this cloak draped around me, I was being \u201cbrave.\u201d But really, I was just a confused child with monsters in her head that were steadily fastening their grips on her. And I told no one, because I wanted to be \u201cbrave.\u201d<\/p>\n And it\u2019s not like I wasn\u2019t being brave. Every second that I stayed on this Earth was me being brave. All the times I woke up in the morning, showered, ate\u2014that was me being incredibly brave, even though I didn\u2019t see it at the time. I thought I was pathetic. What kind of person can\u2019t even get out of bed? What kind of messed up person wants to hurt themselves?<\/em> Now, I look back at that young girl with a softened gaze, knowing that it was because of something that was completely out of her control. Mental illness is never our fault, and I wish I had realised that sooner. It would have saved me countless sleepless nights of blaming myself for the way my brain screamed at me each time I wanted to do \u201cnormal\u201d kid things. Berating me each time I considered my future. And cursing me when I thought about staying alive.<\/p>\n I look back on those times today and experience a myriad of emotions that I can\u2019t quite explain the purpose of. There\u2019s the sadness and pity, of course. But there\u2019s also that aching, bittersweet nostalgia when I think of the paradoxical comfort, I felt amidst all that agony. It\u2019s so incredibly easy to say to someone struggling with mental illness: \u201cDon\u2019t you hate being like this? Why don\u2019t you just try to get better?\u201d Yet, it\u2019s never as straightforward as that. I was in immense pain, so much so, that it was far easier to spiral downwards than it was to put in the effort to get back on my feet. So, I remained trapped for what felt like an eternity.<\/p>\n And in that, there was an inherent bravery. Anyone<\/em> grappling with the all-encompassing clutches of mental illness bears an innate mantle of courage.<\/p>\n But that\u2019s not why I describe myself as brave. I reserve that word for the moment I realised that bravery wasn\u2019t about toughing it out and gaslighting myself into being \u201cfine.\u201d Rather, I think my bravest moment was acknowledging that I had lost control and reaching out for help. I think it was learning to not blame myself for something I didn\u2019t ask for. It was realising that recovery will never be a linear journey that travels in a neat little diagonal line upwards. My bravery lied in letting my mental and physical wounds heal, without feeling the need to reopen them. It was recognizing that I didn\u2019t need to prove my struggles to anyone, because they are valid in their mere existence. And that\u2019s why I call myself brave.<\/p>\n But that\u2019s not quite the answer my distant relatives were looking for, so I told them it was because I stubbed my toe once and didn\u2019t cry. After all, I no longer have the need for others to acknowledge a kind of bravery they would never understand.<\/p>\n About the author:<\/strong><\/p>\n Jaden\u2019s social media:<\/strong><\/p>\n Twitter<\/a>, Instagram<\/a>, TikTok<\/a><\/p>\n jqden.mas@gmail.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Trigger warning: the content of this blog contains references to suicide, self-harm and eating disorders We\u2019ve all heard that typical icebreaker question\u2014 \u201cwhat one word would you use to describe […]","protected":false},"author":6962,"featured_media":668,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[147,267,13],"tags":[202,5,198,14],"class_list":["post-655","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-events","category-feed","category-youth-voice","tag-be-brave","tag-youth-mental-health","tag-youth-mental-health-day-2023","tag-youth-voices"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"meta_box":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/blogs.cardiff.ac.uk\/wolfsonyoungpeople\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/586\/2023\/09\/bravery.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.cardiff.ac.uk\/wolfsonyoungpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/655","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.cardiff.ac.uk\/wolfsonyoungpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.cardiff.ac.uk\/wolfsonyoungpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.cardiff.ac.uk\/wolfsonyoungpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6962"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.cardiff.ac.uk\/wolfsonyoungpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=655"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.cardiff.ac.uk\/wolfsonyoungpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/655\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":674,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.cardiff.ac.uk\/wolfsonyoungpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/655\/revisions\/674"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.cardiff.ac.uk\/wolfsonyoungpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/668"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.cardiff.ac.uk\/wolfsonyoungpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=655"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.cardiff.ac.uk\/wolfsonyoungpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=655"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.cardiff.ac.uk\/wolfsonyoungpeople\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=655"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/blogs.cardiff.ac.uk\/wolfsonyoungpeople\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/586\/2023\/09\/Youth-mental-health-day-JAden-2023.png\")
Hello, my name is Jaden! I’m 17 years old and I’m originally from India but based in the UAE. My mental health is something that I have struggled with for a long time, and as I slowly find myself getting back up on my feet, I’m incredibly passionate about using my past as an anchor to hopefully help and support others going through the same thing. I’m currently in my last year of high school and planning to pursue either educational psychology or English language in university. I’m an aspiring author and hope to someday make a difference in this world. I love reading, writing, playing the piano, and my dogs!<\/figure>\n