Adolescence: Reflections, Thoughts, and Solutions

Introduction

The recent Netflix miniseries, Adolescence, has reignited discussions about negative behaviours among young men linked to masculinity, prompting calls for solutions to address issues such as violence, mental health, and educational underachievement. This blog reflects on the series and its identified themes, and in keeping with the inbetweener style, draws on my lived experiences and research background to provide insights and reflections.

Personal Reflection

I sat with my head in my hands, agitated and sad, while watching episode three of Adolescence. It brought back memories of my youthful years as a marginalised young man who wasn’t good at sports or education, and who felt that his only vehicle for popularity was negative, or more commonly referred to as toxic expressions of masculinity, including a rejection of education, drug-taking, and crime.

The Struggle for Self-Esteem

As Jamie’s story shows, frustration and anger are fostered within the feeling of underachievement, unpopularity, and loneliness, and alternative ways of gaining respect and self-esteem are sought. For some, often young men on the margins, the options available to regain self-respect and self-esteem feel minimal, and attempts to restore dignity can result in negative expressions of masculinity.

Systemic Issues in Education

The education system often lacks the essential resources needed to effectively tackle systemic issues. Disengaged young men are frequently excluded from mainstream education and placed in well-meaning alternative programmes. Unfortunately, these programmes can turn into environments where peers who feel lost and undervalued converge. From my own experience in such a setting, I found it to be an incubator for negative expressions of masculinity. In these environments, young men compete for status and strive to establish their masculine identity in an effort to regain self-respect.

Misconceptions About Parenting

Problems with young men often lead to condemnation of parents and claims of inadequate parenting abilities, absent fathers or ‘deadbeat dads’. But this wasn’t my experience, and I am sure it won’t be for other marginalised young men. Rather than inadequate upbringing, our behaviours are attempts to seek peer recognition, gain popularity, and combat our feelings of isolation and hopelessness. The solution that seems most obvious and accessible to us is negative masculine-associated behaviours.

Peer Influence and Popularity

In my youthful years, I was drawn to a group of young men from my village termed the ‘Square Boys’, and it was my ambition to join this group. Neighbouring groups of young men revered them, and local girls seemed attracted to the young men’s strong, lively masculine characteristics. They had the popularity I desired and felt was absent because of my inabilities in education and sport.

Addressing the Problems

What do we do about the problems with young men? The obvious solution is to tackle the systemic issues and the main contributory factors, but this is unlikely to happen soon. Therefore, we must reach out to these young men in alternative ways. At this point, some will say that these young men are hard to reach, a phrase that often frustrates me, because that is not my lived experience as a researcher or youth worker working with marginalised young men. Instead, it is more about our approaches to engage these young men.

Effective Engagement Strategies

As a marginalised young man, I would not have given most researchers the time of day, let alone honest interview responses, particularly if no effort was made to establish a meaningful relationship. I was cautious of ‘outsiders’ and individuals in suits with middle-class accents who symbolised authority, and I had no real understanding of what research meant or its potential benefits for me. Equally, school programmes wouldn’t have worked because I barely attended school or disengaged, and teachers and outside organisations were part of the establishment that I felt I needed to rebel against to maintain my masculine ‘tough man’ image.

Conclusion

We need to think long and hard about how we tackle these problems and reach young men who feel the most isolated and marginalised. Because their behaviours, if not tackled, from my experience, will have a ripple effect that influences other young men to display negative behaviours through peer pressure. The solution isn’t easy and doesn’t necessarily involve positive male role models. In fact, my research shows that female figures can help disrupt negative masculine behaviours. Having lived through the challenges of being a marginalised youth, I feel that young men want to be reached. But doing this effectively requires thoughtful and sustained efforts that truly connect with hearts and minds. My research shows that marginalised young men are capable of alternative, softer expressions of masculinity and discussing emotion. We must understand how and why these softer expressions of masculinity are formed and seek methods to foster them to build a better future for everyone.