Expectation vs Reality Surrounding Men’s Mental Health. Author: Callum Griffin (2025)

Each day in the UK, thirteen men board a bus that never arrives. They will never return to their families, their friends, or their lives. This is not a metaphor — it is the dire reality of suicide amongst males. On average, thirteen men a day die by suicide in the UK. ‘In 2018, there were 6,507 suicides registered in the UK… Of these, three-quarters were among men, which has been the case since the mid-1990s’ (Mental Health Foundation, 2025). This is made more shocking when we realise that ‘men are less likely to access psychological therapies than women: only 36% of referrals to NHS talking therapies are for men’ (Mental Health Foundation, 2025). Each of these lives are lost due to a negative stigma surrounding men’s mental health, which results in men avoiding speaking out and seeking help. This gendered stigma is not biological, but the product of sociological norms embedded in society that look at men as being null to vulnerability and view emotional behaviour as a weakness. Connell’s (1995) concept of hegemonic masculinity provides a reason as to why traditional expectations of men make them less likely to express their emotions. Golden Burden Disease estimates that ‘men account for 72% of suicides worldwide’ (Global Mental Health Action Network, 2025). This is not just a social issue relevant to the UK, but a worldwide epidemic where men account for the majority of suicides but represent the minority of those who seek professional help. Durkheim’s (1897) concept of anomie shows how a change in traditional roles can create a sense of normlessness, leaving men unable to express themselves. This shows the importance of exploring the social expectations of masculinity and how these norms can have detrimental consequences through varying theoretical lenses.  

To attempt to understand why men don’t speak out and have such high suicide rates, we must diverge from focusing on the psychological aspects and look to the broader sociological expectations and norms. Theoretical perspectives allow us to examine this social issue through concepts like hegemonic masculinity and anomie. Connell’s (1995) concept of hegemonic masculinity highlights the ideal man to be stoic, dominant, and strong. Many use this concept to show that men have dominance over women, and men who don’t adhere to these masculine traits surrounding strength and stoicism, but this concept also highlights how expressing emotions and vulnerability can be seen as feminine. This is shown in Hegemonic Masculinity: Rethinking the concept (2005), where it states that hegemonic masculinity ‘embodied the most honoured way of being a man, it required all other men to position themselves in relation to it (Connell & Messerschmidt 2005: 832). These standards cause men to suppress their emotions as they feel they are compromising their masculinity or manhood if they are to make themselves vulnerable. This shows how men who adhere to traditional characteristics are less likely to seek professional help. This explains why Mahalik (2007) highlights, ‘the man who constructs masculinity as being self-reliant may never seek help from health care professionals. In essence, “when a man brags, ‘I haven’t been to a doctor in years’, he is simultaneously describing a health practice and situating himself in a masculine arena” (Courtenay, 2001, cited in Mahalik, Burns & Syzdek, 2007: 2202).  

Men working in ‘elementary occupations’ in the UK have a significantly higher risk of suicide: in one dataset, the risk was 44% higher than the national average for men (Men’s Health Forum, 2017). This connects to Durkheim’s concept of egoistic suicide, where men can become detached and vulnerable due to having limited or broken social bonds and values, like these men working in simple and routine occupations. As Durkheim highlights, ‘The individual yields to the slightest shock of circumstances because the state of society has made him a stranger to himself’ (Durkheim 2002: 173). This reflects Durkheim’s anomie in a modern scenario, where men with lower status or unstable jobs struggle to form social connections and purpose. This results in men who are left isolated and vulnerable, leading to a higher risk of suicide. As society progresses and changes, like the transformation of traditional male roles in work and the family, many men can experience a lack of social connection and purpose, a sense Durkheim termed ‘normlessness’. This concept of anomie is seen today between the outdated expectation of male strength and real-life emotional hardships. Highlighting how men who are stuck in these expectations find themselves trapped from seeking help and suppress their vulnerability.  

We can no longer stand by as countless men take their lives each day, due to a society that has taught men to be silent and internalise their emotions in fear of being judged as weak. Theoretical lenses like Connell’s and Durkheim’s reflect how traditional structures of societies that shape our norms and values can also be the destructive factor that results in: communities with no connection, masculinity that promotes internalising emotions, and work that isolates men. These factors lead men to feel stuck between their true emotions and the expectations of society. The ideal that withholding emotional distress is strength must be abandoned, and instead, strength should be characterised to emotional availability, openness, and compassion. Men should not have to disregard their emotional health in place of social acceptance. In order for this to happen, stigma and expectations surrounding masculinity must be replaced with more nuanced understandings of men’s mental health struggles. ‘Three times as many men as women die by suicide. Suicide is the single leading cause of death for men under 50 in the UK’ (London Assembly, 2025). This is an issue we can no longer be complacent about; men’s emotions need to be seen as the norm and not a vulnerability. We must develop spaces where men can feel free of judgment and allow themselves to be emotionally vulnerable, offering places that promote seeking help and reject traditional expectations of men. No longer can we allow silence to be the killer of men; we must speak up and speak out. 

References

Connell, R.W. and Messerschmidt, J.W. (2005). Hegemonic Masculinity: Rethinking the Concept. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications. 

Durkheim, E. (2002). Suicide: A Study in Sociology. Routledge. 

Global Mental Health Action Network. (2025). Need2Know – Men, Mental Health and Non- Communicable Diseases. [online] Available at: https://gmhan.org/need2know/need2know-mens-mental-health. 

London City Hall. (2025). Suicide – the Single Leading Cause of Death for Men under 50. [online] Available at: https://www.london.gov.uk/who-we-are/what-london-assembly-does/london-assembly-press-releases/suicide-single-leading-cause-death-men-under-50?utm_source 

Mahalik, J., Shaun, B. and Matthew, S. (2007). Masculinity and Perceived Normative Health Behaviours as Predictors of men’s Health Behaviours. Social Science & Medicine, 64(11). 

Menshealthforum.org.uk. (2014). Men’s Health Forum. [online] Available at: https://www.menshealthforum.org.uk/key-data-mental-health?utm_source. 

Mental Health Foundation (2025). Men and women: Statistics. [online] Mental Health Foundation. Available at: https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/statistics/men-women-statistics.