Health and Wellbeing

Relationship goals

Student Wellbeing Champion, Natalie, discusses the real relationship goals…

We’ve all seen the hilarious ‘relationship goals’ memes – if you haven’t, a sneaky chortle or two is just a google search away. However, it’s not all hearts and rainbows (or mutual love of a games console, food ect). Perhaps the only real relationship goal is to be in a healthy and happy union with your partner.

Are you in a healthy relationship? Healthy relationships are based on the idea that both partners share power and control equally. You should feel safe and secure in the relationship.

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Relationship goals

Here are 6 ‘relationship goals’, the relative ingredients to a healthy and happy relationship.

 

Mutual respect

You respect each other just the way you are. You are not trying to change or limit each other. You respect each other’s space and privacy and understand not all passwords and aspects of your lives need to be shared. You understand that it is not okay to go through each other’s phones, emails or social media accounts. You feel like you are being listened to in a non-judgmental way; your partner understands where you are coming from and values your opinions.

 

Trust and support

You trust each other. You know that if the other person is doing something without you, you trust that they are not going to do something bad. You understand that each of you have friends and activities you enjoy doing and you trust each other to carry out those activities. You respect each other’s opinions. Your partner also believes in you and supports your goals, ambitions and believes in you.

 

Honesty and accountability

You are open, clear and truthful to each other without being scared of the consequences. You acknowledge each other’s attitudes and behaviours. When unsure or wanting something, you ask instead of expecting the other person to just know what you want. You make big decisions together and value each other’s opinions.

 

Non-threatening behaviour

You feel safe in the relationship. You are able to speak whenever you do not agree with something without being scared of the consequences. Your partner does not use intimidation or manipulation to convince you to get what they want, such as throwing things, threatening to hurt you, someone you love or themselves.

 

Separate identities

In a healthy relationship, you make compromises. However, it doesn’t mean that you should feel like you’re missing out and not being yourself. In the beginning of the relationship, you had your own lives including friends, interests and hobbies. This shouldn’t change as the relationship progresses. You should still be able to go out, do activities that you love and see your friends without feeling guilty or that you should give up on it.

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Negotiation and fairness

If you are feeling stressed, distressed or concerned about your relationship, there is always someone for you to talk to. You accept that there isn’t always a right way to do things and you are willing to see it from each other’s side. You listen to each other, even when sometimes you may not completely agree.

Are you able to relate to these points? Do you think that you are in a happy and healthy relationship?

 

Support

If you are having relationship difficulties and would like to talk to someone about it, you have the options of talking to someone from the TALK programme. It is independent of Cardiff University (working across different universities in Vale of Glamorgan). The service specialises in relationships and domestic violence, and is completely confidential. If you think you would benefit from talking to someone who is specialised in this area, who can listen and give advice non-judgementally, here are the contact details:

Tel: 01446744755

email: julieg@atalyfro.org

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If you are an LGBT+ student, we also have more specialised support available. Find out more in our blog about the support available for LGBT+ Students.

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Contacting Counselling Health and Wellbeing

If you are struggling to improve your wellbeing, please know Cardiff University Support Services are here for you – there is no problem too big or too small and we would be happy to provide you with some support. We offer a range of flexible support options including:

Bookable appointments are available via our online referral questionnaire. We also offer a Wellbeing Walk-In Service, Monday to Friday, 3pm to 3.45pm and Wednesday mornings, 9.30am to 10.15am, at the Student Support Centre at 50 Park Place.  We also hold a walk-in service at our Student Support Centre in Cardigan House at the Heath, on Wednesday afternoons 3pm to 3.45pm.

 Watch our video and see for yourself that we have friendly and approachable staff. Staff who are able to listen to you non-judgmentally, in a safe and confidential space.

If talking to a member of staff is something you are not sure about, why not chat to one of our Student Wellbeing Champions. They are trained student volunteers who can signpost you to support, offer you a peer ear and give you basic health and wellbeing advice. If you would like to see our Champions in action, check out their video.

If you are worried that you are experiencing physical symptoms that may be affecting your health, we strongly advise you to make a GP appointment to discuss this. If you do not already have a GP, please contact NHS Wales on 0845 46 47 or check out their website to view all of your GP options. The University also has its own GP Practice – Park Place Surgery for those in their catchment area.

 

Your feedback and help please

Have you found this blog post useful?  Please help us by commenting in the bar below, and note any questions there too.

To help us aid more of your fellow students please re-tweet or share this post by using the share buttons or via twitter and facebook.

 

Best wishes,

Natalie, Student Wellbeing Champion.

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Your Student Life, Supported. 

The Student Support Centre has a range of services dedicated to helping students make the most of their time at University, including: Advice and MoneyCareers and EmployabilityCounselling, Health and WellbeingDisability and Dyslexia and International Student Support.

The Student Support Centres are located at 50 Park Place, Cathays Campus and Cardigan House, Heath Park Campus.

For further details of services, events, opening times and more find us on the University Intranet.

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